Overrated and Kinda Tame - The Black Party NYC 2009
I was warned thoroughly when I told my friends about my upcoming attendence to the infamous Black Party. Fisting, Fetish, Freaks, Sex shows, orgies, propositioning, drugs, violence, cutting, blood drinking, and last year some guy actually lost his bowel control in ass-less chaps and shat on the dance floor.

Needless to say - I was psyched. I bought new denim & some armbands, borrowed a leather harness, and got the cutest eye makeup from Barney's (thanks Brian!). I took like two hours to get ready, with most of that being the damned eye makeup - Ladies you get madd props for putting up with that shit. To give you a mental picture (because I don't have a real one), I smoked out my eyes, spiked my hair, strapped on the harness and two armbands (just above my biceps), had form-fitting diesel jeans which were a smoky grey color with random washings and combat boots.

I head over around 1130, get in, and meet my friends really quickly. A buncha the ladies were there, some dodgeballerz and some big gay snowboarders, old friends and new ones. We case the place, drink, pee, drink, pee, dance, talk, drink, pee. At one point I think I saw a performance where some naked young gentleman was tied up against a fence while another semi-clad young gentleman proceeded to spank, slap, kiss, lick him. It was a little tame to be honest.

That, unfortunately - was the only performance I happened to see. I mean, unless you count the random people wearing body-stockings all groping eachother in a fence-cage. Again, tame. I mean, there was 'live sex' in the corridor upstairs, very seedy, I saw fucking, sucking, jerking, but it wasn't cute, sexy, or entertaining. I mean the flyer had a snake comin outta a guy's rectum - who doesn't want to see that once in their life!?

The clientel itself was varied. I saw boys that looked like they were 14 (though they were thankfully rare), and one older gentlemen who had his leather bondage gear but needed a cane to support himself as he walked around. The men were like anywhere else, mostly okay, a few hotties and a few scurries. For myself it seemed like all the hotties I bumped into had boyfriends or were my friends already.

The music was darkcore with a bit of house/dance thrown in randomly and not nearly often enough. I mean, for a party attempting to garner a younger audience you think they'd play the music we like. But no. None of that fun good shit, we just get a pounding bass line with bad rhythm all night long. And don't get me wrong here - I like electronic music, but this was boring, redundant, and honestly it sounded like the same song all night long. That said I did have a few fun moments on the dance floor, we'd happen to catch a change of pace, but then it'd go back to shit and we'd look at eachother with "Well, now what?" faces.

At around 5am I gave up on the music improving, or actually getting to see a crazy live performance, and we bailed around 530. Perhaps the craziness continued and got more insane as the morning arrived and afternoon progressed, actually its 2:48pm on Sunday at this writing, and the party is still ongoing I believe. However, I don't do those drugs, so there's no way I'm partying for more then 5 hours.

In summary, I was entertained by my friends all night. It was great to see cute people dressed up in leather and having a good time. The party itself failed to deliver on multiple accounts: music, performances, I thought it had three rooms and there was only one? - and for $120 a ticket (not what I paid) that's a pretty big failure. I wouldn't go back, not because it's not my scene, or it's too scary, I wouldn't go back because it's a boring party and there's not nearly enough hot available guys to keep me interested. Fire Island should be MUCH more interesting.